Forgiveness

 

by Smt. Mandira Lahiri

It is always a joy to reminisce about your schooldays. We often talk about the good things, the naughty things, and the bad things that we did in our childhood. It gives us a lot of pleasure to talk about those happy moments and also those not-so happy moments of the past. Those days our mentors and teachers laid a lot of stress on following the right path and practicing forgiveness. They would urge us to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ wherein he says ----- “If someone slaps you on one cheek then you give him the other cheek also to slap,” …. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” I am sure we all have benefited a lot by following even a little bit of these profound words. Today’s world is however, different. It is, “Tit for Tat,” “Zero tolerance,” or even “It is cool to be rude.” 

During my teaching stint, I came across parents who told their kids to be one up on the other kids, not to share their notes, not to share their tiffin - and, if ever beaten up by their peers, give it back to them with interest! I sat there in bewilderment, thinking that the world around me had changed drastically.

In his book, ‘How to attain Eternal Happiness’ Shri Hanumanprasad Poddar explains, “Convert a foe into a friend by your goodwill. Even if you really have an enemy, he is incapable of inflicting any injury upon you unless you are destined to suffer. On the other hand, by nursing ill-will towards you, he is simply harming himself. Therefore, what you should do is to wish well of him rather than harbor antagonistic feeling towards him. As a result of this he will be able to perceive his error and giving up his antagonism, will turn into your friend and thus be able to save himself from grave injury. You will surely be a gainer yourself.”  These words explain very well what a supremely divine quality forgiveness is!

Here are is an excerpt from Robert H. Schulla’s book “The Be-Happy Attitudes”: “Pardon those who have hurt you. Again, we take a lesson from Jesus in dealing positively with our persecution. When he was on the cross, stripped of his dignity, Jesus cried out -- Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do! Sometimes it is humanly impossible to forgive. In that case, divine intervention is to be called upon. We ask God to forgive those who hurt us and to work on our hearts so that we can eventually see our hurt from their perspective.” Keeping these thoughts in mind, we can simply say this prayer silently whenever we are carrying the pain of hurt within us for too long.

Shri G. D. Budhiraja in his book “The Art of Happy Living” reiterates -- “Most grudges are unhealthy. Low- minded maliciousness and an unreasonable attitude can be poisonous. Such a grudge can kill you. So always remember that you should turn the resentment you feel into constructive action and do something positive about it, instead of carrying it around with you like a cross. Although you are angry, it does not necessarily mean that you won’t forgive the other person, but by letting the other person know that you are hurt, you lessen the chances of his trying to repeat the same behavior at a later date."  This is indeed very valuable advice to maintain healthy relationships. 

The following are excerpts from Shri Dada J P Vaswani’s article published in “The Speaking Tree” of The Times of India dated 1^st August 2020:  

“We live in a society which uses ruthless power to succeed. We glorify individualism and the instinct for self- preservation. The act of forgiveness is often regarded as a weakness -- even a sign of cowardice. We are told repeatedly-- fight for your rights; do not yield to anyone! But the act of forgiveness holds great power-- not just spiritual power but the kind of power no one can despise. It asserts your dignity and self-worth. It reveals your inner strength and establishes your ability to forgive. So, far from leaving you weak and vulnerable, forgiveness can empower you to lead a more meaningful life. It brings conflicts and struggles to a positive ending -- for it helps us to overcome the cycle of resentment and revenge, and enter the realms of unity, peace and harmony. More importantly, each act of forgiveness inspires others to do the same, setting off a positive chain reaction.

Once thieves entered the ashram of Sri Ramana Maharshi at night. They thought they would find lots of money and expensive objects, for the Maharshi had several wealthy followers who visited him frequently. But, to their anger and dismay, they found practically nothing worth stealing. Suddenly, they entered an inner chamber, where they came upon the Maharshi in deep meditation. Rudely they accosted him, demanding that he tell them where the money and valuables were kept. Getting no response from him, the men began to attack him. A few disciples who had been awakened by the commotion rushed into the Maharshi’s room and were appalled by the sight that met their eyes. As for the thieves, they took to their heels and fled from the ashram in no time. Incensed by the injury inflicted on their beloved guru, the disciples seized sticks and stones and whatever they could lay their hands on and decided to pursue the miscreants.

 “Do not go after them,” said the Maharshi. “Pause and reflect for a minute. If your teeth bite your tongue, do you knock them off?” The disciples learnt the profound spiritual lesson that all of us, all human beings, are linked in a cosmic chain of Being. Where then is there room for anger and resentment, when others are a part of us, and everyone is part of a great cosmic whole?  

Forgiveness is a beautiful quality. It creates a tranquil space within your mind, allowing the spirit to grow in that feeling of lightness. Forgiveness makes you kind; it gives you inner beauty. It makes you glow and illumines you from within; it transforms all those who are touched by it.”

In the above article, Maharshi’s divine words and instructions are very important guidelines to be followed by us to go one step ahead in our spiritual journey.

Through Prajnanpurush Sri Sri Babathakur’s words in the book, ‘Knowledge of Knowledge’ Volume--II, we come to know of the ultimate path to be taken to achieve the highest goal in life. He explains ‘Absolute peace is attained only when the mind gets fully unified with the eternal, endless, immortal, changeless, imperishable Being or Self among the perishables. Though the Infinite Self, the Supreme Consciousness dwells in the perishable body, it is ever transcendent. Too much attachment to the changeable and perishable physical body and other insentient objects is the only cause of suffering, fear and unhappiness in life. It is also the cause of rebirths and transmigrations. Life can get rid of the influence of the insentient outer nature with the help of inner sentient, changeless, immortal, purely Divine Consciousness.

In the cosmic game of Supreme-Self-Consciousness, spirit and matter, though apparently different from one another, in reality are one and the same Consciousness Itself.’

After going through His lectures and books, I have come to realize that His philosophy is so Supreme that question of forgiveness does not arise. Who will forgive whom in the ‘Science of Oneness’?