Parenting

by Smt. Susmita Devi

Parenting is no joke...It takes parents (or guardians) quite some self-control to remember that on a daily basis in their own behavior. Never forget, that children are prone to imitate their elders or respected personalities like a spiritual Guru.

A physical elder family member functions as a guide in ordinary life of the innumerable do’s and dont’s of society. A Guru in physical form is indispensable to guide an individual in spiritual matters. So both physically and spiritually, guidance is needed while growing up.  My physical father took up his role while a child and Sadguru Sri Sri Babathakur took over when I came to India.

A few of my physical father’s advice and guidance are still remembered:

·            ‘Ruminate a bit and find the ‘silver lining’ to disagreeable events’. He repeatedly made me remember that ‘nothing is so bad that it is not good for something’. That’s what I today would call ‘Blessings in disguise’.

·            ‘It is easier to solve problems in a satisfactory way through cooperation or an attitude of give-and-take than to be stubborn’.

·            ‘Be forgiving, congenial and unselfish to the extent possible and, as far as possible, curb negative instincts consciously.’

·            ‘Look people straight in the eyes when talking to them’.

·            ‘Face people’s opinions with an open and respectful mind. Your opinion might not always be right for everyone.’

·            ‘Reflect on how any incident can be tackled before acting. If possible, the choice should be the one, which would not hurt the opponent unduly.

·            ‘Think twice before giving angry or hurtful replies. That would be the most constructive way to react (a variant of the old proverb ‘Count to ten before retorting’).

·            Be aware that every thought and action, good or bad, is bound to include a consequence.’

·            Firmly refuse to listen to slander and do not spread it. He added: “If you perceive you are victim of slander, you better ignore it if you think yourself justified in your words or deeds. If you realise there is some truth to it, the correct yourself.

·            If you can’t get what you want, you must want what you can get. Manage with whatever is available to you.

·            It is better to be without bread than to lack ideas on how to create means for getting your bread. Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability.

·            Don’t hanker for what is not yours or not possible for you.

·      Don’t start what you have no intention to finish properly. It is better to say no than to do something half-heartedly with a mediocre result.

·            Success is never built on slapdash work. 

It was, unquestionably quite tough to abide by his recommendations, but I came to appreciate the lessons later in life as I valiantly tried to put them into practice.

The above instructions from my father have been implemented as well as I could. Sri Sri Babathakur’s teaching, later in life, have also been followed according to my capacity. Below are quotes from the book ‘Nectar of Wisdom’: 

 

Sri Sri Babathakur said: “One thing you can do is to ask yourself the following questions and then live accordingly”:

·         Be good... yes, but how?

·         By doing good.... yes, but how?

·         By thinking good ... yes, but how?

·         By living in the highest good, which is ‘Pure Consciousness or Self”

  

He continued to direct our attention to how one could develop true discrimination and Realization of Self through certain attitudes in life, which were:

·         Depend on one’s own Existence

·         Try to remember one’s own True Nature

·         Avoid the sense of duality

·         Rely on one’s Self only and on nobody and nothing else

Having uttered the above four points, He again warned us against trying to impart the ‘Science of Oneness’ to one who is:

·         Antagonistic

·         Back-biting

·         Criticizing others

·         Of fault-finding nature

·         Motivated by self-interest

·         Prone to self-importance

·         Trying to rule over others instead of himself

·         Unwilling to listen to the ‘Science of Oneness’ 

“These points symbolize a shield for one, who follows the ‘Science of Oneness’, which is the true Knowledge, not any conditioned knowledge”’

The above directives (as heard from my parent and from Sadguru Sri Sri Babathakur) are essential to follow, as far as possible, for a seeker of Truth.

 

Work Done Properly Becomes an Act of Worship

by Sri Ajit Halder

The author was inspired to write this article by the well-known proverb ‘Work is Worship', and a careful reading of its title will establish its connection with the age old proverb.  Also the title word Work with its mundane connotations does point at the word Worship which carries with it a much holier, spiritual characteristic.  An elaboration of the proverb ‘Work is Worship' may read like this: ‘Proper work is what is needed to worship one’s chosen deity or a holy person’ and the title is a close reiteration of this statement.

We note that the important words of the title are Work, Properly and Worship and in the context of this article, they have deeper significance than what their lexical meanings may convey.  In order to focus on their wider implications on the theme of this article, further elucidation of those words will be attempted in following paragraphs.

‘Work’ is a commonly used and understood expression which stands for various forms of activity that we do all through life.  Because of the varied nature of the work that one does or the experiences of what others do, it is most likely that the quality of the work done may either be good or bad.  Bad, wicked work intending to cause violence, inflict bodily harm or anguish to a person is to be despised and not to be accepted as an act of worship.  But work done to revere, venerate or adore a chosen deity or a holy person is accepted as a true worship. Also, the work executed for the welfare of fellow humans or as a service offered for the benefit of the nation merits to be praised as a noble act akin to worship.

The word ‘Properly’ is derived from the noun Proper which means appropriate, correct, fit or suitable to the purpose for which we are engaged in doing a particular job.  So ’Properly’ in the present context means our endeavor fittingly or appropriately suited or adapted to the task of worshiping our chosen deity or an adored and honorable person.

The next word to be discussed is ‘Worship’.  Some action which helps to undertake an act of worship implies feelings of tenderness and adoration of a chosen deity or of the good qualities of a person.  It is usually expressed in words or accomplished through the performance of a ritualistic ceremony.  Since the act of worship is the main thrust of this piece and since to a Hindu, worship takes a multitude of forms, it will be covered in greater details later on to bring out the many facets of this act.

In order to emphasize the role of work leading to an act of devotional worship, some further comments on Work are included.  The utterance ‘Mera karam hai mera Dharam’ denotes that my good work is my religious duty. To perform the sacred duty satisfactorily, I need to work with a high level of passion, with interest, with involvement and with joy for it to be counted as a religious work.

The Sanskrit verse that extends the notion of work is: ‘Karmanyeva Adhikaaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadaachana’. It is taken from the second chapter Samkhya Yoga of the Gita and is an oft-quoted verse which translates to "You have a right to perform your prescribed action, but do never expect to receive any rewards of your action".  The above-mentioned verse is about Karma (action) and the reader’s attention is drawn to the fact that any action undertaken involves two aspects: the cause responsible for the action and the effect which is an unavoidable outcome or any rewards resulting from that action.  This cause-effect scenario is invariably associated with the execution of any act.

The end part of the verse reads as ‘…Maa Phaleshu Kadaachana’ and its meaning “…do never expect to receive any rewards of your action” poses a dilemma on the question of receiving any rewards upon the completion of an act.  To tackle this issue, it is proposed to broaden the purport of the phrase ‘Maa Phaleshu Kadachana’ by including God’s blessings as the rewards one might expect.  This will be shown in Italics and underlined in the proposed version of the translation which will now read as: ”do never expect to receive any worldly i.e. material rewards of your action, but expect to receive God’s blessings as rewards”.  We hope this enhanced interpretation of the phrase will resolve the conflict.

In the Gita, Sri Krishna urges Arjuna to fight his own cousins, not for personal gain, but as his kuladharma, which is to carry out his duty as a Khatriya prince. Once he understood this, Arjuna's work became an act of worship.

Worship comes from the word “worth-ship” so the word worship means to show that someone is worth adoration.  The adjective ‘spiritual’ will add a new dimension to the notion of worship as the word spiritual means something nobler and holier in its purpose.  Spiritual Worship involves invoking the presence of the Divine and one needs mental preparation and a respectful attitude prior to engaging in spiritual worship. This type of worship through work done with reverence and in joy can't only be ritualistic; it is a matter of the heart a well.

In the preceding paragraphs an attempt was made to offer an extensive explanation of the words in the title.  Now comes the moment when we should concentrate on the practice of worship which is the focus of this article.

The art and practice of worship

Every one worships some-thing or some-one. The practice of worship has been performed for thousands of years and the Vedas describe mantras and procedures on how to conduct worship with rituals and prayer. Inspiration to worship usually comes from three sources: personal desire, the wish to propitiate a deity, or show regards to a holy person. 

It should be pointed out that within Hinduism, worship includes a wide range of practices.  We list below the principal acts of worship. Some of these ritual practices are performed individually with Bhakti (devotion) and some as a congregation in the temple or in religious festivals.

Principal types of rituals in worship

1.         Upasana - sitting near the deity or guru in devotion and adoration.

2.         Puja – ritual worship

3.         Prayer

4.         Bhajan or Kirtan – hymns and chants

5.         Aarti – the greeting ceremony with lamps

6.         Prasad – offering and eating sacred food

7.         Pravachan – talk on the scriptures, also listening to spiritual discussions by a saintly figure

8.         Pilgrimage to holy places to have a sight (darshan) of a deity or an audience with a holy person.

It is clear that a range of options are available to engage in the act of worship.  Most devotees will choose his/her preferred method or combine it with some other modes of worship. Whichever type of worship one selects, if the act of worship is done with devotion, he or she will achieve the desired objective.  We have chosen Puja and Prayer from the above list of rituals as we consider these two to be the most practiced methods for the act of worshiping.

Puja is a ritual performed by the Hindus to host and worship one or more deities with offerings in a shrine at home on a daily basis and in temple ceremonies and annual festivals.  Some basic items in the preparation of a puja will include: Asana (the seat offered to the deity); Pushpa (flowers); Naivedya (foods such as fruit, sweets and betel leaf offered to the deity). Dhupa (incense) with Dipa (lamp) is burned before the image and the deity is invoked with other items as well.

Prayer is the communication of the human soul with the Lord (who created the soul), and it helps to improve one’s spiritual well-being.  Prayer provides a deep connection with one’s chosen deity, God or a holy person.   In our endeavor to make Prayer effective for the purpose of worshiping, and to express one's thoughts and emotions, we seek guidance and ask for wisdom.  We can do no better than remember the words, advice and writings of Sri Sri Babathakur.  Wise sayings of Sri Sri Babathakur like those given by the Prajnanpurush to his devotees will surely help in our act of worship.  We quote two of His sayings:

(a) ‘Prayer is a state of heart and soul. True prayer is neither a process nor mere emotion nor only a composition of well-arranged words, but also it is one of the characteristics of the inner nature of the indwelling soul.’

(b) ‘Most humble, simple, intense and sincere prayer to God, out of strong urge for the Divine or Self -Realization, is said to be of Sattvic type. It elevates the mind and makes the heart pure, noble, submissive, devout, joyful, cheerful and loving; and it is free from hypocrisy, selfish and evil desire, personal interest, egoism, expectation, imagination, thirst for enjoyment, suggestive dictation etc. by Sattvic prayer one becomes a perfect devotee of God and is able to realize Him within and without as all in all, all in One, One in all and One in One.’

We conclude this article with the following observations:

First, we mention what Swami Vivekananda did to advocate for a human-centered worship (rather than purely a God honoring service), for he believed in the principle which may be expressed as ‘Serving humanity is an act of worshiping Divinity’.  With this motto Swami Vivekananda added a social dimension to the religious practice of Hinduism.

Secondly, to receive divine blessings, most devotees make elaborate preparations for a puja with varieties of flowers, many types of fruits and lavishly decorating the mandap.  But Sri Krishna advising Prince Arjuna and through him the entire humanity, utters in verse 25, Chapter 9 of the Gita;

‘patram puspam phalam toyam yo me bhaktya prayacchati/
tad aham bhakty-upahritam ashnaami prayatmangham//’

In English the verse means - ‘If a worshiper offers Me with love and devotion only a leaf, a flower, fruit or plain water, I will accept it as one’s puja offering.  This will surely serve as an inspiration to worship since God advises that no elaborate arrangement for worship is needed.  Worship is to honor one’s deity with extravagant love and adoration, and it truly involves the worshiper’s heart, mind, and soul.